- By Wednesday night Mr Whittington was sitting up in bed doing a little legal work … preparing to sue Mr Cheney on Friday.
- It now turns out that Mr Cheney didn’t even have a valid hunting licence, although in his defence he does claim that those quail were trying to conceal weapons of mass destruction.
- Mr Cheney told Fox News he was appalled to have hit his friend, especially as he was aiming for the Chinese embassy in Belgrade at the time.
- Finally owning up to the shooting of a 78-year-old man on Monday morning, a White House spokesman claimed it was merely part of Mr Cheney’s plan to solve the pension deficit “one guy at a time”.
- That’s the last time anyone on a hunting trip ever turns to the Vice President and says “So have you seen Brokeback Mountain?”
- Pentagon officials have now insisted that Mr Cheney’s next hunting party must include Osama bin Laden.
- Senators were quick to react to the news that the Vice President had shot a lawyer … immediately demanding that he be awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor [sic].
- The very worst moment came for Mr Whittington came when his old pal insisted on strapping him to the roofrack, taking him home and then mounting his head on a plaque.
- The White House kept the shooting secret for 18 hours. They’ve still got some way to go until they break their secret-keeping record - that’s the one that covers the President’s SAT scores.
I thank you ...
